Why Do I Over Spend?
The Dollar Stretcher
by Gary Foreman
gary @stretcher.com
Dear Dollar Stretcher,
I struggle with over spending. My biggest challenges are eating out and entertainment. I'm single and enjoy hanging out with friends and taking in the latest movie. What can I do to get this under control? If I don't find a way I'll never save anything. Andy
Like so many people, Andy is struggling trying to match his expenses to his income. Generally that requires a change in behavior and lifestyle. But many, like Andy, find that those changes don't come easy. Let's see if we can't find a way to help him make the adjustments he needs.
Andy has identified the first critical portion of a solution. He's dealing with a non-essential area of spending. In other words, it's not spending that's necessary for survival like housing.
That's important because it means that he's dealing with his emotions. There's a good chance that he's spending to fulfill some psychological need.
Don't let that scare you. I'm not suggesting that he's not a well-adjusted adult. I'm sure he is. But we all have some unmet needs in our life. And, it's only natural for us to try to fulfill those needs. Even if we aren't aware that they exist.
Identifying the need is the next crucial step. That might not be as hard as you think. Begin by trying to remember how you felt before and after your purchase.
In this case, Andy should try to remember what he was thinking before he agreed to go out to eat or to the movies. Lonliness? Fear of being left out? A desire to belong? Something else?
Then try to remember how he felt after agreeing to join the gang. Loved? Part of a group or family? Needed by others? Something different?
If he looks at enough purchases Andy will probably begin to see a pattern. Don't deny the pattern. You'll only mislead yourself. Even if you don't like what you find, it's better to know the truth. You'll need to use the truth to break your old habits.
Suppose that Andy enjoys going out with the gang for drinks and dinner after work on Fridays. It costs more than he really can afford, but he finds that it's pretty hard to say "no" when everyone is getting ready to go.
Looking back at it Andy realizes that he doesn't want to be left behind and wonders what they might say about him if he's not there. His mind conjures up ugly gossip that could get started without his presence. So the logical decision is to go. After all, he needs to protect his job and his reputation.
But, now that Andy knows what motivates him to go out he can take a second look at his decision. Maybe there's not as much gossip as he thinks. Or maybe there's so much that no one takes it seriously. In other words, maybe he doesn't need to be there to defend himself.
Andy may find that there's some similar event earlier in his life that affects his decision today. It could be that he wasn't selected for the junior high basketball team and lost a good friend. That event might have made him more sensitive to situations today that are somewhat similar.
How does Andy solve the over spending problem? First, by understanding what's motivating him to spend so he can make less emotional decisions. He can also look for less expensive ways to fill that need. Maybe sharing a coffee break on Monday morning with one of the Friday night regulars to catch up on their talk.
It's also possible that Andy will look at the situation and decide that he really does want to make Friday nights part of his budget. If that means cutting expenses somewhere else he's willing to do it. But at least now he won't be beating himself up for going and his budget will be in order.
Andy is wise to look at his expenses and ask questions. It's easy to keep spending out of habit and wonder what happened when the money runs out. Much better to know what you're doing and why you're doing it.
About The Author:
Gary Foreman is the editor of The Dollar Stretcher website at www.stretcher.com. You'll find the web's largest collection of free time and money saving articles. Check out the article on Instant Cash at http://www.stretcher.com/stories/04/04dec13a.cfm?column11aug01.Visit Today!
