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Colonial History!

My Two Cents ‘bout Common Sense

This is Samuel “I Hate This Job” Liberty, senior writer for the Colonial Chronicle. I’m here to make sense of Common Sense. This 47-page pamphlet was handed out in Philadelphia in January 1776.

The author, Thomas Paine, apparently has the most common sense out of all rebels, and has decided to write about it. No, not really, but it would be cool.

He actually wrote about how he thinks the average, uneducated citizen should be able to have their say in the laws of this soon-to-be-country. This was bold, and maybe a little stupid of him. Every other nation was ruled by a king (old guy sitting on a chair), but he wants America to be ruled by average Joes. Good with me. Now, this may seem good to us, but not to England. Wait, who cares about England? Half of a million copies were sold, and it led to some thinking. What if we were our own country? This issue will be addressed in an important writing called…

The Declaration of Independence, & Other Stuff

Now, for this little essay known as The Declaration of Independence. Written by Thomas Jefferson, it declared independence from England. Yet again, these rebels come up with the most clever names, don’t they?

Thomas Jefferson, known as “TJ” in inner circles, was the primary writer of the Declaration. He and his homies, George Washington, Ben Franklin, John Hancock, and John Adams, were creating this to present to King George III (old guy).

No, seriously, this document is the most significant in American History. It established the rights of all people (meaning rich white men) to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It was signed, and a country was born.

Also, this did not address the rights of women, African Americans, Native Americans, or hippies. Wait scratch that last one… This caused great controversy, and ticked those groups off. That could be a small flaw.

This also heated up the tension between England and America. The Patriots also had new enemies: themselves. For some reason, a group of colonists called Loyalists, want to be ruled by England. They even supported them. Whatever. I need an aspirin…

This is Samuel “You Annoy Me Greatly” Liberty, signing off for the Colonial Chronicle.

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